Hello, Idk if this belongs on your blog, but I need these women to know what kind of man they’re dealing with. He says he’s honest, but he’s honestly lying. He likes turning phrases like that, double meanings get him out of hot water. I saw right through it but I still fell for it. I only slept with him once, spent a whole lotta money and time on him, you could say he screwed me over twice! Hah!
But listen, ladies. This man is not safe. He don’t ever wear a condom, his best friend said he’d screw anything on two legs with a vagina, and she’s a woman! After knowing him for so long and noticing the different cars coming and going all hours of the day and night (I guess cuz I’m just a tv watching buddy he didn’t care to hide it), but it’s unsettling to say the least.
I’d guess he sees 3-7 women at a time, he calls it a rotisserie, in and out, he’s damn near never alone, he even complained to me about his sex addiction but wouldn’t give me none! Girls, just turn and walk the other way! I imagine he’s got a new one every other month? He goes thru those pretty quick. Not sure if they get sick of him or what. I’m a heavy woman and need some lovin too tho! Anyways, don’t be like me buyin into all his crap hoping he will do anything. He’s a user and an abuser. Plain as that. Don’t waste your time!
Round and Round Goes Phils Ferris Wheel, but This Ride Isn’t Worth It
I hope this gets posted. It’s not a review. It’s an FYI. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a real problem. Words like narcissist and narcissistic mean different things. Since this man is the living, breathing definition of someone with NPD, we should all be clear on the topic.
In the ancient Greek tale of Narcissus, a young hunter, admired for his unmatched beauty, spurns many who love and pursue him. Among them is Echo, an unfortunate nymph—who, after pulling a trick on one of the gods, has lost her ability to speak except for words already spoken by another. Though initially entranced by a voice that mirrored his own, Narcissus ultimately rejects Echo’s embrace.
The god Nemesis then curses Narcissus, causing him to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Narcissus becomes hopelessly infatuated with his own image, which he believes to be another beautiful being, and becomes distraught when he finds it cannot reciprocate his affection. In some versions of the story, he wastes away before his own likeness, dying of thirst and starvation.
The DSM V requirements for NPD hinge on the subject recognizing their behaviors are wrecking their life. There are many different types of narcissists. In general, however, they will never go to therapy because they are perfect, and everyone else is insane. The unwillingness to seek therapy is especially true of “malignant narcissists,” who, in addition to the usual characteristics, exhibit antisocial and psychopathic features such as lying chronically or enjoying inflicting pain or suffering on others.
They cannot innately compute emotions and will often believe crying is an act instead of a consequence or form of emotional communication. Most will have mastered what emotions *should* feel and look like and will emulate them perfectly. However, they can only mimic the major categories and not much in between. For those times you think they are really feeling something deep, it’s more than likely a mirror of a recent experience or show where they felt they could accurately emulate this emotion to get what they want.
I have a soft spot in my heart for narcissists. I was raised in a family full of them. In my experience, they aren’t monsters. They are simply trying to survive within the confines of what society has determine “right” and “sane.” A vast majority of them suffer from NPD because they refuse to work through wounds from childhood. Instead, they learned how to cope with living without love. How to emulate emotions instead of feel them because they are too dangerous. How to keep the drama factor up or else they become restless, being haunted by the multitude of ghosts from their past.
That being said, I have no fucking pity for them. I try to love them from afar best I can. I’ve helped a few through some rough times. My nonjudgmental nature is comforting. And my reliability, although initially exploited, is still appreciated if only by small acts of kindness or favors not held against me. That’s just the best they can do with what they have. So I am always sure to reciprocate that appreciation in a language comfortable to each of us. For my mom, it’s giving her praise and reminding her of how amazing she is. For Phil, it’s that and/or sex.
Unfortunately, our boy Phil is also a sex addict. Technically he’s an omniaddict, a person who can and will become addicted to anything. From something as simple as a specific drink, to something as complicated as having multiple “friends” come over every day, he binges until he’s had enough. Then he drops it, and might never come back.
Noticed I say “it.” Yes. You are an object. He also has the cursed frame of mind of a chauvinist. Women are all the same. Insane. Emotional. Scary. Bad women. He hides from angry women because he doesn’t like the fallout that happens after he hits them or chokes them. The act of hurting another he admittedly enjoys, but the consequences aren’t worth it.
So if you’re new to Phil or an old flame, I hope this insight helps you in some way. Don’t trust YouTube if you dig into this topic. If you do, be sure to watch multiple different channels. It’s way too easy to get stuck on one or two only to realize this whole chunk of info you’ve been missing out on. Stay safe!
I don’t know how much I like the website, but I figured my two cents couldn’t hurt. He’s good in bed. Got a decent sized salami. Tends to go soft and requires a lot of BJs. That’s why you need the water. I wouldn’t recommend sticking around too long though. He can be an infuriating asshole most of the time. And that’s why you need the salt.
I see a lot of women on here had the same experience I did! I am so proud of you ladies for realizing enough is enough and taking back your LIFE!
For me it was when the belittling disguised as jokes began, along with outlandish remarks and questions. I’m a very accepting person and have kind of a “live and let live” philosophy on life. I work in my local school district. I’ve met many personality types along the way, so I just figured this guy sure is direct and outspoken isn’t he!? At first I’d laugh at his little condescending digs about my appearance or my parenting or cooking or driving or whatever. Maybe his sense of humor is a little more negative and dark than mine. So what. Who cares? I didn’t see it as “my problem” until it was. The put-downs worsened and became more frequent. Nothing was off limits in the way he criticized me. It started to feel like it was all the time. It ruined everything. I remember standing up for myself and finally saying Hey! Stop talking to me like that! Stop criticizing me all the time! It feels like you don’t even like me! That last sentence. I ended up saying it at least 100 times in the 8mos we dated. His response would be that he was joking or just trying to help and that he loved me and wanted to be with me. That was his catch-phrase towards the end of an argument. “I love you and I want to be with you.” Sprinkled throughout our relationship were handme down gifts, seemingly kind gestures, help with the house, and all kinds of confusing and contradictory behavior. He once offered to check in on my animals because I worked a 2nd job in the evenings. He did it for about 2 weeks and then one day out of the blue after I had texted him from school to say there was a last minute change to my schedule could he stop by, he slipped into some mania or rage or tantrum and told me this was all stressing him out. That he wants to relax after work and not have to drive around and that he’s not my baby-daddy! I was floored by his reaction (never got used to the irrational reactions to things), felt badly that I was stressing him out, apologized profusely, and reminded him that he had offered in the first place! His response was that he didn’t know what he was getting himself into and that it was just too much for him. Whiney. Ass. Bitch. This was all via text. I ended up calling him after I got home so we could talk. He was still in a rage which then turned quickly into a rant about how my cooking was ruining his diet! That he likes to four square meals and my meals are always just fattening and lazy. That he might as well go to Taco Bell. It was so bizarre, but somehow I was the one who ended up apologizing, making concessions for the future, and basically begging for forgiveness. This is one of MANY scenarios that finally caused me to leave. It’s been 3 weeks no contact and on the 28th of this month it will be a month since I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I feel everything. Relief, freedom, anger, sadness, loss, dashed hopes, alienation, confusion, betrayal. Researching and understanding the signs and red flags of this toxic behavior which I also agree is likely NPD and abuse consume me right now, as I try to make sense of what happened. It’s truly a terrifying walk thru a Fun House, except it isn’t fun at all. I’m just glad I walked out and didn’t get lost in there.
Don’t trust this guy for a split second. He tricked me thinking he was wearing a condom until he came and laughed at me. I didn’t support a woman’s right to choose abortion until after that night. Just bein real. Two months later I meet a new guy and have my first outbreak. Second worst experience of my life, the first being the night he gave it to me. Now I gotta these pills and it’s gone but tell the men I meet and they jet! Not all of them. Mostly just the stupid ones. But still. It’s made my dating life ten times more difficult, and it already wasn’t easy. Just cuz some asshole who thought it would be funny to not use a condom. But y’all don’t get too bothered by his nonsense, because there’s a special place in hell for people like him. And a karma bus. One or the others gonna get him. And I’m gonna laugh if I ever hear about it!
At first I thought this site was very funny, but after a few days it didn’t sit right with me. I think we can all agree that he’s excellent in bed, but an awful human being. For those of you who he has hooked though, I wrote this for you.
After I left Phil, I completely fell apart. This felt horrible even more because he was right, again. I couldn’t stand him when he was right. Only two weeks out from no contact, someone actually asked me why I was so upset. They said if I hadn’t been so codependent, it wouldn’t have happened. That he was seeing other people and there was nothing stopping me from doing the same. My eyes welled up from tears and I just stammered that I didn’t choose to be abused then walked away.
I was in 3 relationships prior to meeting Phil, and I did not display codependency. I’m not a people pleaser, I have learned to be selfish and hard with my boundaries. That is how I was when I met him. But, I became codependent in the relationship because he GROOMED me to be, and he brainwashed me to let go of my values/morals to fit his life for supply, and trauma bonded me to him with such a great amount of skill. I had no knowledge of what a narcissist was, what gaslighting, or lovebombing, etc. looked like. To this day I look back and see how masterfully he manipulated me on so many levels.
He chose me. He stalked me on dating websites until I finally gave in. Others have been chosen for their GOOD QUALITIES. We were all good women before we met him. He saw how happy, full of fire we were. Toward the end be would say I had a light in me that he fell in love with, but he hasn’t seen it in a long time. He wanted that light, so he took it then blamed me for giving it to him, pretending he never took anything. That is why he hurt me– not because I was codependent weak prey, and neither are you.
Before Phil, my boundaries were strong– we are not weak people. But I wasn’t aware that he was a predator? I thought he was someone who loved me, so I’m not going to use the boundaries I would use when dealing with a hostile stranger. I’m going to use the boundaries I use when I’m with someone I love– is it my fault that he took advantage of me there?
I remember the state I was in. I was in constant fight or flight, I could not sit down and concentrate. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t even shower/feed myself, because I was waiting for him to scream or call me to argue. I was terrified for months on end. And he thought it was hilarious.
He held me captive, I had no ability to use my time as I pleased. I was made to tolerate more and more, slowly like a frog in a boiling pot of water. People do not usually tolerate this– that is true, but neither would a frog jump into a hot pot of water. We did not want this. I did not want this. To get a frog to sit in a pot of hot water, waiting for death, imagine the skill of the one manning the stove.
If I have anything to say, my takeaway from the over one year of no contact is that none of this was your fault. No matter where you are on your journey, a spoiler and something to internalize, if you haven’t reached this realization– absolutely none of this was your fault. Do not blame yourself for a second.
Phil and I were messing around for awhile when out of the blue I started getting yeast infections after every time I slept with him. He made it clear he was seeing other women, and that’s cool because I was seeing other guys.
At first I thought my pH was off, diet or something. But then he got all pissy one night and we didn’t see each other for a minute. Guess what? No more yeast infections! I didn’t figure it out until I saw him again.
As soon as I was good to go, I went and slept with more guys than normal to test my theory. Didn’t get even the hint of another infection. Went and saw him. You already know it!! Got another one!!! And I didn’t even get to the worst part. He didn’t care when I had one!! I tried but it was just too nasty. It made me nauseous because he went down on me then expects me to kiss him?!?! No thanks dude!! I’m out!!
Gio’s Services & Reviews 