When I think of Phil, I still get a knot in my throat, tears in my eyes, and a pit in my stomach. He put me and all of my friends here through so much hell. Many of you fought back, I heard he even went to jail.

But he’s still free. Walking around completely oblivious, or worse totally uncaring about the effect he’s had on us.

So yeah, I hold a grudge. Abso-fucking-lutely. But I don’t let it define me or allow it to negatively affect my truth. Trauma doesn’t go away overnight, nor on its own. You have to do the work. And here it is.

You will NEVER get a sincere apology. Just accept it.

If pigs fly and you do, I am so happy for you. And you can still do this work, too.

Imagine a trauma or emotional event. How did it make you feel? Write down every detail within your comfort zone.

Now, what is it that you wanted in that moment? What was you mind/heart/soul crying out for? What would have soothed you?

How have you felt since that event if you have not received what you needed above?

We cannot wait on apologies. Our recovery is our responsibility.

Can you imagine how you would feel if you got what you needed to overcome that moment and find your center again?

So, now, what have you learned from this exercise? About yourself, the moment, whatever comes to mind.

Finally, it’s time to commit. Write down (yes with a pointy thing in your hand on any surface suitable for writing): I commit myself to _______. This is your new mantra.

An example, for me, I commit myself to letting go of people who show me little to no respect because I respect myself, and I know that I matter.

All I ever wanted was respect.