I hope this gets posted. It’s not a review. It’s an FYI. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a real problem. Words like narcissist and narcissistic mean different things. Since this man is the living, breathing definition of someone with NPD, we should all be clear on the topic.

In the ancient Greek tale of Narcissus, a young hunter, admired for his unmatched beauty, spurns many who love and pursue him. Among them is Echo, an unfortunate nymph—who, after pulling a trick on one of the gods, has lost her ability to speak except for words already spoken by another. Though initially entranced by a voice that mirrored his own, Narcissus ultimately rejects Echo’s embrace.

The god Nemesis then curses Narcissus, causing him to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Narcissus becomes hopelessly infatuated with his own image, which he believes to be another beautiful being, and becomes distraught when he finds it cannot reciprocate his affection. In some versions of the story, he wastes away before his own likeness, dying of thirst and starvation.

The DSM V requirements for NPD hinge on the subject recognizing their behaviors are wrecking their life. There are many different types of narcissists. In general, however, they will never go to therapy because they are perfect, and everyone else is insane. The unwillingness to seek therapy is especially true of “malignant narcissists,” who, in addition to the usual characteristics, exhibit antisocial and psychopathic features such as lying chronically or enjoying inflicting pain or suffering on others.

They cannot innately compute emotions and will often believe crying is an act instead of a consequence or form of emotional communication. Most will have mastered what emotions *should* feel and look like and will emulate them perfectly. However, they can only mimic the major categories and not much in between. For those times you think they are really feeling something deep, it’s more than likely a mirror of a recent experience or show where they felt they could accurately emulate this emotion to get what they want.

I have a soft spot in my heart for narcissists. I was raised in a family full of them. In my experience, they aren’t monsters. They are simply trying to survive within the confines of what society has determine “right” and “sane.” A vast majority of them suffer from NPD because they refuse to work through wounds from childhood. Instead, they learned how to cope with living without love. How to emulate emotions instead of feel them because they are too dangerous. How to keep the drama factor up or else they become restless, being haunted by the multitude of ghosts from their past.

That being said, I have no fucking pity for them. I try to love them from afar best I can. I’ve helped a few through some rough times. My nonjudgmental nature is comforting. And my reliability, although initially exploited, is still appreciated if only by small acts of kindness or favors not held against me. That’s just the best they can do with what they have. So I am always sure to reciprocate that appreciation in a language comfortable to each of us. For my mom, it’s giving her praise and reminding her of how amazing she is. For Phil, it’s that and/or sex.

Unfortunately, our boy Phil is also a sex addict. Technically he’s an omniaddict, a person who can and will become addicted to anything. From something as simple as a specific drink, to something as complicated as having multiple “friends” come over every day, he binges until he’s had enough. Then he drops it, and might never come back.

Noticed I say “it.” Yes. You are an object. He also has the cursed frame of mind of a chauvinist. Women are all the same. Insane. Emotional. Scary. Bad women. He hides from angry women because he doesn’t like the fallout that happens after he hits them or chokes them. The act of hurting another he admittedly enjoys, but the consequences aren’t worth it.

So if you’re new to Phil or an old flame, I hope this insight helps you in some way. Don’t trust YouTube if you dig into this topic. If you do, be sure to watch multiple different channels. It’s way too easy to get stuck on one or two only to realize this whole chunk of info you’ve been missing out on. Stay safe!